Why is change not easy?

CHANGE…

you see this word everywhere nowadays, from '“changing times”, to “how to cope with change?” to “now it’s the time to change”...

As an organization, your priorities are changing, your plans, your processes, your logistics.

As a leader, you had to change the way you interact with your teams, the way you manage them, motivate them.

As an individual, you’re kicked out of your comfort zone. You had to change your working habits, your parenting strategies, your exercising routines.

May be you get frustrated with all the talk around change? "Now, is THE time to make changes" , "Start exercising" , " Learn something new", " Do it", " It's now or never!"

Or…you’re actually doing it. But you don’t understand! Why are the people around you so rigid?  Your team members, your friends, your family. Why do they find it so hard to go with the flow and adapt ?

So why is change not that easy? Why is it that you can't do the things you know you should do? To stop getting angry. To start eating healthy. To look for a job that you actually enjoy. Why can’t you take the leap and change ? Instead of talking yourself out of it. What is going on?

What if I tell you that the Matrix and the Beatles gave us the answers to these questions ?

Have you figured these already? Let’s check !

1.Why are habits so sticky?

You are run by programs

Let me remind you: 90% of what you do is unconscious.

Think about it:

You breath, walk, eat, write...without consciously instructing your body on how to do it. It functions… on its own.

Did this happen to you before? You walk into the bathroom, brush your teeth, take your shower, and THEN you fully wake up? Or you take your car, drive to your work and arrive there without remembering anything about your journey?

Your mind was thinking about the next meeting. About the next phone call, your to-do list, the argument you had last week…Meanwhile,

Your body was doing what it was programmed to do. It was taking you to places, driving your car, opening the doors, walking the stairs…

Often you will catch yourself reacting "automatically" to certain situation or people. Just by habit…

And that's convenient right? You don’t need to become conscious of it all. You need that awareness when you interact with people. When you make important decisions.

But then…are you sure that’s what is actually happening?

This convenient creation of habits goes a long way. When you think about it you might realize that you have a set of programs that run automatically.  One program for your interactions with your boss.  A different one when you have an argument with your partner. Another one when you make that decision to eat healthy and exercise, and ..then you procrastinate and don’t do it…

Sometimes, you become aware that the program took over when you act in ways you regret. And then you catch yourself saying;  “That wasn’t me! I wasn’t myself”;

or you just notice it. The moment you wonder why you are always living the same situations? Nothing is changing despite your “ conscious” will and efforts to change.

When you develop a habit of thinking in a certain way, you start acting in certain habitual ways.

This will result in you living the same experiences and generating the same results. The same results will generate the same feelings and you are physiologically programming your body:

How do your habits impact you physiologically?

• Think about water flowing and creating preferred paths on the soil. It's the same here. You keep having the same thoughts. You keep activating the same neurological circuits in your brain. The more you use them, the more you prompt them to be your “default paths” . Other paths and other thinking options will not be triggered.
  To build new connections between your neurons you have to take new paths; Through new learnings, new thoughts and new behaviors.

• Do you know what happens in your body when you feel anger, frustration, sadness, joy, compassion? Your hypothalamus releases a set of chemicals that is specific to the emotion you feel. So, the more you feel a certain way, the more your body get used to this set of chemicals. And it starts wanting it.
  Yes, that’s exactely what I am saying! Your body gets addicted to these chemicals.
  And here you come wanting change? You want to cut its supply? Obviously it will resist! It will trick you to feel that same emotion again. “Let’s get angry now”, “At this time of the day I used to feel that anger”, “why is it not happening?”.

  It's normal, accept it and understand what's going on. You are changing. You are reprogramming your body. Its getting used to a new set of emotions. You are developing a new addiction that actually serves you better.

  How do you start doing that?

Identify the programs that do not serve you. Create the path for the ones that you want to install instead.

In case you’re thinking; “Easily said then done!” “I knew it already! but how??”, Let me clarify 2 things:

1. there’s no magic wand to make this happen instantly.

2. programs can be hacked. How? That’s what NLP and coaching techniques are for. And if you’re not ready to go this route and speed the process, it’s ok. You’re not doomed for eternal stagnation!

This understanding allows you already to be more flexible to change. You can also get these simple 5 hacks to include some techniques in your daily routines and crack these programs one step at a time.

Just be observant, and be kind to yourself. With change , you will face the unknown and with the unknown comes confusion.

2. How can you stop being confused?

Let it be

Yes, confusion is good. Let it be . It means you’re no longer in your comfort zone and that’s good.

Why would that be good?

1. have you noticed that in nature nothing is static? It’s either growing or dying.

   There’s no status quo for living creatures, and the human mind is the same.
   Now ponder this with me. If being in the comfort zone means there are no changes. If you live the same experiences again and again. You think the same old thoughts. You feel that same old grunge/ frustration. You keep running the same programs. Can you see that you are not staying the same? You are actually regressing, your mind is deteriorating.
   I see no comfort in that...

   And it's not about age. We used to think that the brain inevitably stops growing at a certain moment during our life. This believe is now obsolete.
   Scientists observed that our nervous system can create new connections between neurons at any age. It has the capacity to always grow and expand. You have always the choice to grow.

   Now, let’s have more good news:)

2. Have you ever experienced in your business or in your life this “comfort zone” for a long period of time?

   Looking back now. Can you notice? Every time you thought that all is good, every time you wanted things to stay the way they are, life throws something at you to shake you up.
   Look at the businesses that thrive, the game changers, the people that inspire you.
   Were they ever contempt with their success? Whatever level they reach they adapt and grow whether on purpose or as a reaction to a turmoil.

This is because we’re wired to grow, to change. Change can trigger insecurity and fear. Depending on your perspective, you can interpret this as anxiety and worry. You can also interpret this as excitement, grit and sheer anticipation.

So understand that

it’s ok not to feel ok, it’s good to feel confused.

Confusion is a signal that you are going beyond the “comfort" zone That you are creating something new.

What will come out of it? You don’t know. But chances are that, you will thrive better when you keep yourself in a performing state.

Understand this for yourself. Keep this in mind when you manage others around you, your colleagues, your teams but also your friends and your kids. They always watch what you do and how you act. Even more then what you say.

So play with these two principles now: be aware of the programs, welcome the confusion.

Take charge of how you feel, how you act and you how behave.

And if you choose to speed your transformation. If you choose to crack the programs quickly, take advantage of my offer for a free consultation call and let’s update the programs!

Create a wonderful (changing) Day!

Your Expansion Catalyst

Jihen Gatti

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